its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
