My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My feet surprised me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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