We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize