i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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