I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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