I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
