so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
