if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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