Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
