His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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