So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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