So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
