Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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