I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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