I smell stomach acid.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
