I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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