we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
