im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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