your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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