in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
