just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
