yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
