The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
