its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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