Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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