Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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