This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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