Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
