These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize