Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
