So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
