Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
