Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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