Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
