i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
