judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
