Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
