Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
