I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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