Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize