Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
