i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
