Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
