So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oh god the rape fog is back!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
