U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
