so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Randomize
