Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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