we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
