you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I still have a little drunk in my system
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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