the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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