This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My dick has a subreddit
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just sucked dick on a ferry