So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups