im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
