He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
