I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
