it's like iHOP with fire
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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