That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
