I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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