please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
