He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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