that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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