It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
