if you like me you must not know who I am
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Please don't give away my fajitas
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