So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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