So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT