So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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