you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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