He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
