its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
