i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize