its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
