you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize