You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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