Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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