i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
