This girl is more easily done than said...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
