What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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