Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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