we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
