i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
