you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
