can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
