It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize